


Home for the Holidays

by lemonfizzies



Category: Orbiting Human Circus of the Air (Podcast)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Family Feels, Found Family, Gen, Stagehand Francois is technically in this....technically, hi i shoved a bunch of headcanons in here i hope that's alright
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 16:37:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13080921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonfizzies/pseuds/lemonfizzies
Summary: Home is where your family is :)





	Home for the Holidays

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Shea (@driedbats on tumblr). Surpriiiiise!! Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Wishing you nothing but the best for the holiday season xoxo

**== 4 Days To Christmas Eve ==**  
Julian is standing in his Janitor's closet, humming slightly as he takes inventory. The plastic top of his pen is bent and twisted from chewing, for his mind is wandering far beyond the confines of the small closet. He wonders if the Grand Ballroom will be closed over the Christmas holiday. It hadn't closed for the duration of Hannukah, except on the days when it closed like any other weekend. But, as Julian had noticed all too quickly, everyone was talking about Christmas.  
It isn't that he's dreading the celebration, oh, no, the main concern for him is finding a place to stay. It seemed like everyone would be going to visit family, host family, or both! Normally, Julian would go to Leticia Saltier. She had a nice spare bedroom and he had learned which brand of dish soap she liked best, after so many visits. Unfortunately, Leticia fell solidly into the realm of "hosting family," so that wasn't an option.  
Pierre and Jacques shared an apartment, Julian remembered, even when Pierre wasn't always himself. Jacques would be out of town, but Pierre claimed he would be hosting AND visiting at once. Julian found this odd...but ultimately irrelevant. The fact remained that there would be no room with the stagehands.  
That left Mr. John Cameron, who was still positively GLOWING over the prospect of his beloved Carey stopping by for a visit. Julian knew the radio host's boyfriend's name was not actually Carey, but he still felt very relieved as Mr. Cameron became more and more lenient as the weeks progressed. Less yelling.  
Unfortunately, this left the poor Janitor squarely out of luck once the Grand Ballroom closed for the holiday. He was very sure of it, now, having given it more thought. The Grand Ballroom would certainly be closed for Christmas.

 **== 3 Days to Christmas Eve == **

"What do you MEAN, a Christmas Special!??" 

Julian jerked reflexively at the sound of Mr. Cameron's outburst. He had passed the door earlier, in a rather terrible fuss, on the way to his  office . The phone had been ringing, a fact of which Julian had notified him. As he continued to repair one of the faulty microphones, the Janitor repositioned himself closer to the door. The initial roar of the radio host's fury was quickly blunted by disbelief and insistence that the Orbiting Human Circus of the Air could  **** not  run a 3-part Christmas special!  ****No , Platypus Eve ****didn't  count!

"What am I supposed to tell the crew? The stagehands? Where am I going to find the  **** acts !?!?" 

Julian surmised that the President of the BBC must have hung up before answering because Mr. Cameron started wailing loud enough for Jacques to poke his head in and ask what the problem might be this time. Julian shook his head and whispered, in a very grave tone, "  Christmas. "  

The stagehand only gave him a blank look. That was when Mr. Cameron emerged, blustering on about how everybody needed to report to the stage  **** now ! There was an emergency meeting to be had, all hands on deck, etc., etc. 

*** 

"A special? So soon?" 

Stagehands and crew were assembled in a semicircle onstage, facing Mr. Cameron, who was in the midst of delivering the bad news. 

Mr. Cameron rubbed his temples and sighed heavily. Julian struggled to see over the shoulders of everyone in front of him. He hadn't realized before that Mr. Cameron was so short without his boots. 

"I don't like this any more than you do,   Francoi  \--" The host cut himself off and coughed into his hand before continuing to address the man who had spoken, "P-Pierre. However, and this goes for everyone  who wishes to keep their job in the  foreseeable  future, consider Christmas cancelled." 

A loud groan was followed by irate murmuring as those assembled shuffled around and whispered to each other. Christmas? Cancelled?? 

So, the Ballroom would be open after all. The Janitor found himself somewhat relieved. He caught a glimpse of Pierre -- who was not himself – attempting to console Jacques. Something about a... wooly...a  day of obligation? Jacques was speaking too fast, Brooklyn accent getting the better of him, and Julian couldn't quite make everything out. 

** == 2 Days to Christmas Eve ==  **

_\--Hello? Is Carey there? Oh....no, that's alright. I know, uh, John had called yesterday? Yeah, about that, there's been a change of plans..._   

 _\--Who, me? Oh, I'm no one._  

Sets were built. A script concocted. Drafts finalized. Corners cut. 

 _\--Hello? Is this Maria? I'm a....a friend of your grandson. Jacques?_  

 _\--Hello?_  

In all the mayhem, the Janitor of the Eiffel Tower was nowhere to be found. 

 _\--Yeah, I know you're probably pretty upset, please don't yell at me, haha!_  

 _\--I have an idea..._  

 _\--Hey, do you know how to whistle?_  

 **== 1 Day to Christmas Eve ==**  

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Orbiting Human Circus of the Air is proud to present...the first segment of our three-part Christmas program! Believe me, there is no place on Earth any of us would rather be than right here, inside your radios!" 

 

As usual, Mr. Cameron dreaded that the Janitor would attempt to disrupt the show yet again at any moment. However, like yesterday, the Janitor was nowhere to be found. 

Leticia had certainly taken notice but hadn't achieved enough sleep to be able to question why. As Lead Stage Manager, it was her job to keep everything running smoothly. It was running anything but smoothly, with no acts and no time to prepare Host Cameron for the inevitable, but, of course, the audience could never know. 

 

"Let's leave the phone lines open, and you can call in with your holiday plans. It'll be almost as fun as the real thing, eh?"

** == Christmas Eve ==  **

Leticia, Jacques, and Pierre -- who was himself -- had, together, managed to shove Mr. Host John Cameron onstage in the midst of a nervous breakdown. He was holding it together, but only just. There were still no acts. There was still barely a script. 

 

And then, quite suddenly, Julien tripped out from behind the wings as well and Mr. Cameron's smile froze in sheer panic. 

 

"Ah, it seems the Janitor has decided to pay us a holiday visit." Mr. Cameron laughed in the uncomfortable way that you laugh when you're about to   mcfreakin  ' lose it, "Pray tell, Julian, what on earth are you  **** **doing** ?" 

The latter end of the question was not so much asked as growled or hissed. Julian only grinned, exhausted and out of breath, a tin can tied to an absurdly long string trailing behind him. 

   
"Telephone, Mr. Cameron! It's – I mean, well, here!" 

 

Mr. Cameron accepted the tin can gingerly, as though it would bite him if not handled with care. When he heard the voice which warmly greeted him, his showman's façade dropped completely. 

 

"M-Merry Christmas! Yes, it's me. I'm...I'm in the middle of a show right now! No, no, of course I still care about it, I just, I'm in the middle of the  **** Christmas   ******broadcast**!!" Mr. Cameron went quite red in the face as Julian rocked back and forth on his heels impatiently. Carey stepped out from stage left, holding an identical tin can attached to the other end of Mr. Cameron's absurdly long string. Mr. Cameron didn't notice, and Carey made a "hush" sign at the Janitor. Julian giggled, clapping his hands over his mouth to stifle the noise. Leticia dropped her clipboard. 

 

"John, darling, so am I." Carey tugged on his can so that Mr. John Cameron's end was jerked back towards him. John turned slowly, as if frightened of what he may see, to face the source of the voice he knew so well. As he caught sight of his boyfriend, there, in the flesh, on his stage, John Cameron, for all intents and purposes,   mcfreakin  ' lost it. 

 

"IMPOSSIBLE!!!" He cried out, though he clung to Carey with his own arms, touching his face, his hair, his neck, his shoulders! All of John attempted to melt completely into all of Carey, he just couldn't believe that he was here. And as Leticia poked Jacques to ask him why Carey had been allowed on set at all, she caught sight of Julian scrambling back to the dim safety of the left wing. She didn't lose sight of him for long, however, as he emerged a mere moment later, guiding out an assortment of various relatives, friends, and acquaintances of the cast and crew. The microphone stood abandoned at the head of the stage, though it still fed a steady stream of ecstatic greetings and reassurances from the now-mingling assembled. The   audienced   "  ooh"ed   and "  awwwww  !"  ed   over the obviously overjoyed members of the Orbiting Human Circus of the Air broadcast. 

 

Julian tapped the mic and it hummed, briefly. He had to stand on tiptoes to reach it, but he managed to address the audience both in the room and beyond: 

 

"Julian the Janitor, here. Um...L-ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, our _Home for the Holidays_ act!"  He swept his arm wide, indicating the large group onstage behind him. The audience applauded. 

 

[please applaud] 

 

And with that, the 2nd and 3rd segments of the 3-part Christmas broadcast were finalized. Each of the guest took turns telling stories about the cast and crew, food was ordered, callers were put on-air to participate in guessing games and prompt discussions. Jacques' grandmother showed off her whistling skills. Leticia's girlfriend showed off her singing skills, accompanied by Julian and North, the Singing Saw.

 

And Julian, for all intents and purposes, melted into the group just as easily as if he had been a member of the family, every family, and nobody pushed him to the side and nobody yelled at him for chiming in. In fact, when he told a  joke, they laughed. When he made a suggestion, they heeded it. He received more pats on the shoulder and ruffles of the hair than he'd ever thought he'd receive in his entire life.

 

"To family," Jacques raised his glass of sparkling apple cider. The assembled chimed in with various noises of affirmation and agreement. There was the sense that the audience, somewhere beyond the microphone, chimed in as well.

 

Julian was glad the tower hadn't closed. And he was glad that, even if just for today, everyone was "home"

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this inbetween finals last week and went through final touch-ups today [12.19.17]. It's surprisingly difficult for me not to derail into pure angst, apparently. Who knew? Hope it hit that Found Family Holiday Cheer vibe you asked for, dude!~


End file.
